Thursday, October 20

Making Choices

Slowly ideas about the actual performance start to emerge in my mind. Part of me doesn't want to put them down, not because they will probably completely change, but in case some are actually used - and that it will take away the surprise element from the performance... I've got to think about this

Anyway, talking through some rough ideas about how I might communicate these questions of performance, especially the notion of honesty in the performance of song, a sort of catch 22 stuck out..
If I am making choices, which I will inevitably have to do at some point, about how to communicate to the audience, what I want them to understand from my work, what experience I want them to have - what songs to sing, how to sing them, what to say in between, what to wear - then I am implicitly manipulating their viewing of the performance, their relationship to the songs, to me.. and therefore how can I present 'honesty' with honesty - the moment I distance myself and consider the audience perspective I am automatically creating a show, an image, an act - doing someting other than 'being myself'. Even if I were to just sing a song i've written which is absolutely honest in its lyrics and I sing it with no vocal effects, trying to be totally unselfconscious - it is still because I want the the audience, for whatever reason, to hear and see me and think 'thats a very honest performance'. How can I escpape this paradox?